Stress Limbo

So much seems to have happened in such a short span of time. Very unexpected things that everything feels like a dream (I shared a bit on Facebook and Instagram). Not quite a nightmare but not a pleasant dream either. You know how weird things happen in your dreams but they don’t really faze you?

That’s what these two weeks feel like. Like I’m just watching a dream unfold and I’m helpless to do anything. I’m in this strange limbo of a place where I’m simultaneously calm and (opposite of calm) about everything going on. On the one hand, I tend to take things as they come and not overreact so I can start to figure out some solutions. But on the other hand, since there are many things to consider and worry about, I can easily sink into panic mode and begin to shut down and withdraw. I feel as if I’m already doing both: I have certain plans thought out and I’m also letting some things rule over me.

I’m not sure if this is a good thing. I have my little one to think about, not just me. Travis is back at work today and so I’ll have to be in full-time mom mode again, which again, I’m both happy and nervous about.

First things first, to get myself back on track, I need a calendar and planner. CHECK: Those were back at home–I didn’t think I’d need them, but Travis picked them up for me. Second, I think it will help to write out a daily schedule for Ivy and me. We don’t have to follow it exactly, this is just something I do at home, which helps to stay focused. Having a schedule also helps me feel productive, helps keeps track of our activities, and helps me look back over our week and creates a distinction for each day. Does anyone else hate that feeling when all your days just blend into one blurry mess of a picture? ‘Cuz I do!

I’m not gonna go crazy and jam pack our days, I just want a little distinction between morning, afternoon, and evening. Also, too much stuff in one day can overwhelm me, especially when there are things I don’t expect. But I kinda hate not doing anything or feeling like I’m just waiting for the next thing to happen. I need a good balance of things to do on my own terms.

Third, I really want to keep up with my little blog here. I need to make sure I’m setting time aside to work out blog post ideas and flesh them out to keep up a regular schedule. However, I’m not going to stress myself too much over this because, if I do, it’ll become another stressor and this won’t be fun anymore. I will push myself a little because I’ve left this blog on the back burner for too long!

I hope everyone out there is keeping sane. I know it’s a difficult time for us all. Some of us more than others. <3